In these cases, don't rush to be friends with your child, otherwise it will delay him
As more and more post-90s become parents, they don't like the controlling education of older parents.
Therefore, in recent years, there has been a very popular saying in family education - the best way for parents to educate their children is to be their children's friends and give their children their own space and freedom.
But in these cases, it is really not recommended that parents rush to be friends with their children.
01 When setting rules, parents should not be friends with their children
Parents must do their duty as parents first, and then as friends. The responsibility of parents is not only to meet the needs of the child and raise the child, but also to help the child establish rules, first set the rules and then become friends.
If parents dote on their children too much and do not help their children to set rules, it is easy to raise children with unclear boundaries and lawlessness , which will bring endless hidden dangers to others and the children themselves. This world is not centered on anyone, and everyone must have a sense of rules. This is the law of survival.
There was a video circulating on the Internet. The child in the video made people feel scared, and the mother was helpless.
A 12-year-old boy wants his mum to pay for him after breaking items in a restaurant. After his mother taught him, the little boy moved his hands towards his mother , and even grabbed his mother's neck with both hands. Seeing this, others hurriedly stepped forward to stop it. The mother took the opportunity to beat the child twice with chopsticks. Unexpectedly, the child would not be outdone, and even scuffled with the mother and refused to let each other go.
The scene looked really sad.
Parents and children should have a clear sense of boundaries and do their own thing well. Keeping parental boundaries helps children establish rules and regulations. The mother on the Internet has completely lost the boundary between parents and children. Of course, the children will not listen to her, let alone respect and fear her.
If parents only emphasize being friends with their children, they will ignore the education and discipline of their children, and are likely to raise a person who is selfish, disrespectful, has no sense of reverence, has no rules and no education , whether in school or in the future In the workplace, it is very likely that there will be more and greater blows.
02 When cultivating children's sense of responsibility, parents should not be friends with children
There is a dialogue that parents like very much, and can also give parents a lot of inspiration.
The child said, "Mom, if I throw toys all over the place, will you still love me?"
Mom said, "Baby, Mommy will always love you , but you have to put all the toys in the toy basket."
The child said, "Mom, if I get the paint on my brother, will you still love me?"
Mom said, "Baby, mom will always love you , but you have to help your brother take a bath today."
In this story, the mother is doing the right thing by making sure that "Mom will always love you" and giving the child the love and security they long for. At the same time, it is also emphasized: children, you must be responsible for your own actions . If you do something wrong, you must try to make up for the consequences of your actions. You must have honesty, courage and action to face mistakes and take responsibility.
There are some responsibilities in the world that must be borne by children themselves.
If parents blindly regard their children as friends and help them escape, their children will never be able to become responsible, responsible, reliable and trustworthy people.
03 Parents who children need are people who can guide them
We have no shortage of friends in our lives, and neither do our children.
What they lack is actually someone who can guide them , and their parents are the most suitable people.
In "Family with Children", Liu Xing was very envious when he saw the wonderful performance of his classmates on stage. After returning home, he blamed his mother Liu Mei for not cultivating some of his talent interests. Liu Mei said that she enrolled you in several interest classes when she was a child, but after two days of study, you lost interest and stopped studying.
Liu Xing replied: "If I don't learn, can't you force me to learn? Then I'm not young and playful and ignorant. You are an adult, so you should educate me, train me, and force me to learn?" Liu Mei was helpless and speechless.
How many people grow up envious of those who are talented and able to perform wonderfully on stage, regret that they have not cultivated any interests since childhood and persist until now, and complain that their parents did not force them to study more at that time.
The reality is like this. Many times children live too easily in childhood. When they grow up, they may not be grateful to their parents. Instead, they may complain that their parents did not force them, and regret that they were playful and did not study when they were young.
Learning has never been easy. No matter what to learn, it is a process that requires a lot of time and energy, and it is also a process of restraining and challenging yourself. It is difficult for children to do it by self-discipline alone, and it needs the supervision and guidance of parents.
At this time, parents cannot be friends with their children . When a child wants to give up, parents need to hold him and force him appropriately. If you don't push your child, he may never know how far he can go and where the limit is.
The pattern of parents determines the future direction and possible achievements of children.
The relationship between parents and children is harmonious, the parents are loving, the children are sensible and sensible, and they are like friends with each other. The children can play jokes with their parents, and the family is full of laughter and harmony. But such friends are the result of education, not the method of education.
When educating children, parents are good parents, and children are children. If you want to be friends with your children, you should be a respectable teacher and friend, a good teacher first, then a good friend.